Like a Rock

Let me first give you a quick update on things.  The past few weeks have been quite interesting and hectic.  But you know what, God is good and he takes care of things.  :)  This past week I have seen a young lady have some amazing God experiences, which she has recognized as God's work but still does not recognize her need for a Savior.  Oh, how frustrating this is!  She has seen her prayers being answered and yet it is still not enough.  I wish I could tell you everything so you would understand how God has been working in her life in an immense way, I just pray that her shell continues to be broken.  One day she will turn to the Lord. 

The boys have a full house right now and the newest young man whom we all had great expectations for has begun to show his true colors and not this fake facade to get his way.  It has begun to get him in trouble not only with the houseparents but also with the other boys as they have gotten frustrated with it.  Also, in the past week I have seen a very hard working man show himself with an attitude of self-control, humility and encouragement.  This is a big step for him as his biggest issue is anger management.  This week a new couple has developed and safe boundaries have been set while another young man learned his lesson about playing the ladies and losing a friend. 

In the girls house I have seen some broken hearts and frustration mostly caused by the boys from across the street.  I have also witnessed some grief relief from a young lady who lost the most important person in her life, her Grandmother and caretaker, as she celebrated her birthday by sending her a balloon and note.  I have also seen the poison that is created when the child's interest is not at hand in the decision process of parents.  In the next week the girl's house will be down to only 3 young ladies, this is disheartening when you know the circumstances to which you are losing one while at the same time you are thankful no young lady is in need.  However, the reality is that a young lady somewhere simply is not receiving the care she deserves.

This past week I also had a day of realization in that...I have to leave.  Now I knew from the start that this would be a hard thing to do, I just didn't realize how hard it would be.  It just hit me like a rock and I lost it.  I couldn't help but think about what one of my girls told me.  She said, "You can't leave me Miss Tiffany, I love you....you know what I'm going to miss the most?  You!  You are my little sister!" (although I am older and taller than she is) followed with a big hug and lots of tears.   All the other people in this young lady's life have abandoned or left her for some reason or another.  The hardest thing for me is to convey the message that I have to leave and that I am not one of those people who just leave her.  I came this summer without any kids and I'm leaving with 12.  I don't how to express to them how much I care about them other than to love them and to continue being apart of their lives. 

In the coming week I ask that you pray for all of the students, for the families who have lost loved ones and who are struggling with sickness.  Pray for the families who are in a time of transition and they hear God's will and that they continue to do what is best for their child.  Lastly, please pray for safe travels and for my departure and transition back home.

A Peaceful Reassurance?

In the past week, life in the cottages have relaxed and while things have not slowed down things are nice.  We have still been having some sweltering heat and long days but all is well here at Oak Ranch.  Our babies are getting bigger and we are all doctoring some sunburn after a day at the water park.  Every week it is amazing to see a count of how much change is going on in not only the animals but also the students, especially the boys.  While our newest is still adjusting to cottage life we are beginning to see a different side of him.  He is still looking for his spot within the cottage which has come with its own challenges but we are all trying to be as helpful as we can and as encouraging as we can.  This has been one of the most difficult things for the guys lately, that is, helping one another out and build each other up.

Last week my heart was heavy and combined with a wore out body I just felt horrible.  It seemed as though I was struggling to keep my head above water.  For the first time this summer I felt frustrated.  So before matters got worse God broke me.  I was on the phone catching up with a good friend and I lost it.  I cried for what I thought was no reason and let everything out.  In the midst of this all of my frustrations released and soon I didn't know why I was still crying as I was smiling uncontrollable at the same time.  During this moment I could hear the sounds of a pending thunderstorm as the sky rolled out its sounds and the wind picked up around me.  At first I felt like my heart was so heavy from all of the weeks events that it would fall out of my chest but afterwards it felt like it was empty and ready to be filled.  I realized that in this moment I was no longer in control.  I felt like God was reassuring me of my work here.  Although I was hurting so much inside I have never felt more fulfilled.  Like everything I was doing was for a reason and part of something greater, I was truly happy.  There was no place that I would have rather been than in the midst of all the hurt. 

Before I started this summer I intended to completely immerse myself in servitude here and not allow other distractions.  I feel like that moment was God telling me that it's alright and He was just reminding me of His presence and his plan for me.  While being a child care worker like this may not be exactly what God has for my life (or could be) I can't imagine Him having me in a situation where I couldn't use what He has taught me this summer and the relationships that I have made.  Who knows...could this have been my 'official' calling to ministry?  Or was this just a peaceful reassurance?  Either way I'm excited and can't wait for the next part of this journey that God and I have ahead of us. 

Please pray for the 3 empty slots in the girl cottage and please continue to pray for the rest of our students.  Pray for the friendships that they are building and the lessons they are learning.  Pray for the health of several of our student's families and pray for the needs that each one has. 

"Evangelism occurs from the overflow of your own relationship with Christ." 

So I pray that your cups overflow!

The Poison of Unforgiveness

Well my friends, it has been a busy week!  In the past week Oak Ranch has seen quite a bit of change both at the barn and in the cottages.  We have one new young man who has a good head on his shoulders and knows exactly what he has to do to reach his goals of going home.  One of our girls has made it back safely and another has left us on uneasy terms with the hopes of returning.  The barn has turned into a nursery with our 10 chicks, calf and the addition of 5 kittens.  Thankfully only one of those gets a bottle and the others are maintaining themselves just fine :).

Yesterday was our new young man's first day of horseback riding.  Let me tell you that when you have motivation, positive attitude and a willing heart these will take you far.  Not only was he a quick learner but well mannered and encouraging.  On his first day he was able to take our stubborn beginner horse over obstacles and keep up with the pace of the group.  I cannot wait to see what he will be able to do in the coming weeks!

One of the things that I have been trying to get across to all of the young people around me is the peace that comes from forgiveness.  Feeling the loss of pain that I could never fully understand has left many of them broken, bitter and closed off from the world.  This all leads to frustration, anger and resentment which they apply to all parts of your life.  In one breath I want to say "I don't blame ya!" but in the other I know that in this situation God is their hope and forgiveness is key.  Unforgiveness only hurts yourself not the other person so why should they keep us from living a full life?  Afterall, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die...it just doesn't help you any.  I think what this all boils down to is that each of them has to decide for themselves what's worth more to them...the life they could have or the life they have had. 

The Bible teaches us to first pray that His will be done in all situations, after that we are to pray for any needs we may have.  We then reach a portion of the pray that many of us seem to forget about or gloss over and move onto the protection part of our prayer.  You see, Jesus teaches us that we must pray for forgiveness but only as we have forgiven others.  It's an interesting little catch there. 

Please pray for each of the students we have and the situations they are in.  Pray for safe keeping and that their needs are met and most importantly that God's will be done.  Pray that they are able to forgive the people in their life who have done wrong and allow them to move forward and pray for the families who must also do the same. 

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours.
Now and for ever.

Amen.

We Have Chickens! And a Calf!

Thanks to the generous support of people in Sanford and Rutherfordton Oak Ranch is officially the owners of 10 Buff Orpington chicks and a Jersey calf.  They have already been working hard to help some of our struggling kids cope.  This past week has been quite difficult for some which has put them in some dangerous situations.  They are having a hard time finding appropriate ways to deal with their pain and express their emotions.  We have been calling it chick therapy but there just seems to be something about a cute little yellow baby chick that just peeps at you or falls asleep in your hands. :)

On Wednesday, I came back to the girl's house so I have spent the past two days adjusting to the differences.  They are both quite fun to be around but they just have completely different ways of going about things.  Last week I did a series on Samson with the boys, afterall it is quite a guy story, which they seemed to really enjoy and become interested in.  Pride and conceitfulness were some of the topics of discussion as well as the vulnerability that successes can bring but how the strength comes from God and then he receives the credit right back.  Coming up with something to do with the girls has kind of been difficult but I'm working on it.  Last night we talked about past memories and we looked to the book of Isaiah 43:18-19 for how no matter what has happened in the past we all have great potential with the Lord's help and that we can do great things. 

Please continue to pray for all of our students and especially for their safety.  These past few days have been quite taxing on everyone as we have watched someone seriously struggle.  Pray for the arrival of a new young man tomorrow and his family.  Lastly please pray for the staff that they are able to take care of themselves spiritually and emotionally while helping others.

With Love from:  Honey Mustard, BBQ, Spiderman, Nugget, Noodle, KFC, 6 piece, Teriyaki, Nub, Bojangles (the chicks) and Butternut (the calf)  :)

Living Life Intentionally

The definition of the word intention is the act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. As the leader of various organizations we through this word around quite a bit in our planning.  What is our intentions for this event, do we intend to create this mood for worship, what does our actions say about our intentions?  Yep, I've asked them all!  However, the intentions of this summer are a bit different.  You see before I was only intentional in structured settings like a planning meeting or while with my leadership team or in public.  Here at Oak Ranch EVERYTHING that is done is done (hopefully) with the best of intentions. 

Never before have I had to think so much about the faces I make, the words I say, the things I do or don't do, or even how others might perceive me.  You see for many of these students they feed off of your energy and whether you think so or not they can read you like a book...or maybe I'm just easy to read.  For instance, just last night one of the guys told me something and while I wish it were true I knew it couldn't happen.  He said he could tell it all in my face...especially my eyes what I was thinking.  I told him he was not right but even then my face told on me.  By the way I don't blush, my rosy red cheeks are from the sun. :) 

Either way I hope that I am living my life intentionally for the Lord and by his calling.  Never before have I felt that I was living a life on purpose.  It's a good feeling! 

Prayer: We have 6 boys and 5 girls right now so that means 3 empty spots for new ones.  Each with their own troubles, obstacles and goals.  Pray that through our bible studies and devotions that I am able to share the message and help them to reach their goals.  Pray that we are all able to life a life on purpose and that we can sustain that through the years.