A Case of the Terrible Twos

"Just kill me now, Lord! . . . " Jonah 4:3 NLT

Temper tantrums: if you have spent any considerable amount of time with a young child, you know exactly what one looks like.  With my niece, it always began with the pout-face and then the intensity level rose like an exponential curve.  From wailing and kicking to rolling around and crying, she covered all the bases. 

Photo from www.fordjordan.com

When I think about my relationship with God, I’m sure that he can attest to my “terrible-two” years. I like to think I have since graduated into a more mature relationship with Christ with only the occasional bad days.  As a child, Jonah was frequently used as a lesson of obedience but it appears as though he never quite got over his case of the terrible twos. I can assure you that history taught me to not run from the Lord, especially near water.

           

In the four short chapters of Jonah, rather than a book of prophesies for God’s people, as would be expected, it is a narrative of Jonah’s relationship with God. With a better understanding of how God works, I now wonder if the purpose of Jonah’s story is not for the lesson of obedience he demonstrates so well.

            

I believe Jonah’s story illustrates the realities that every person called by God can, has, or will experience along the way. Jonah’s story is one of personal desire overriding God’s, the proximity of depression and failure in life, and the beautiful nature in which God works to redirect our lives – despite the tantrums we may throw.  The best message Jonah sends is not through his prophecy but in his tantrum. It is one we can relate to and one that we may inspire us to renew our hope in God, especially when the urges to kick and scream arise.   

In honor of my first valentine

He's tall, dark, and handsome with hands like an ox.
He sweeps me off my feet and holds me tight.
Never worrying if my hair is in all the right places,
or if I have a smudge on my face.
My Valentine loves me just the same.

When days are gloomy he picks me up with a bright smile and a hug.
When life leaves me wide eyed and teary eyed he brings comfort and love.
My Valentine always cheers me up.

When I fall, he's there to comfort the pain,
he picks me up and sets me on my feet again.
When I succeed he praises me and lifts me high for all the world to see.
My valentine is not ashamed.

Showing love just in his presence,
he will always be my Valentine.
I hope he knows how much I love him
and how the world would end without him.

My one and only,
My first Valentine,
My Dad.

Worn

“I'm tired, I'm worn, My heart is heavy, From the work it takes to keep on breathing”

Does that describe you? 

That is the opening lines to Tenth Avenue North’s newest hit “Worn.” Following last weeks numerous events in the life of FBC I found myself hitting a wall on Sunday night.  Granted, I was not in the storm as others were, the ripples still hit home.  As I prepared to return to school this week I was anxious to get back to a routine, but my mind lingered in Mocksville.  There was just something about those events that brought back a poignant memory.  A memory that I know was a defining moment in my life; a time when I was worn.  Some of you have heard bits and pieces of my journey but few have heard how I really knew.  So if you will indulge me, I’d like to share that moment through the lens of a blog I wrote on July 19, 2011 as a Summer Missionary at Oak Ranch Children’s Home.

“Last week my heart was heavy, combined with a wore out body, I just felt horrible.  It seemed as though I was struggling to keep my head above water.  For the first time this summer, I felt frustrated.  So before matters got worse God broke me.  I was on the phone catching up with a good friend and I lost it.  I cried for what I thought was no reason and let everything out.  In the midst of this, all of my frustrations released and soon I didn't know why I was still crying. I was smiling uncontrollably while tears streamed down my face.  During this moment I could hear the sounds of a pending thunderstorm, as the sky rolled out its sounds and the wind picked up around me.  At first I felt like my heart was so heavy from all of the weeks events that it would fall out of my chest, but afterwards it felt like it was empty and ready to be filled.  I realized that in this moment I was no longer in control.  I felt like God was reassuring me of my work here.  Although I was hurting so much inside I have never felt more fulfilled.  It was as if everything I was doing was for a reason and part of something greater, I was truly happy.  There was no place that I would have rather been than in the midst of all the hurt. 

Before I started this summer I intended to completely immerse myself in servitude here [Oak Ranch] and not allow other distractions.  I feel like that moment was God telling me that it's alright and He was just reminding me of His presence and his plan for me.  While being a child-care worker may not be exactly what God has for my life (or could be) I can't imagine Him having me in a situation where I couldn't use what He has taught me this summer, and the relationships that I have made.  Who knows...could this have been my 'official' calling to ministry?  Or was this just a peaceful reassurance?  Either way I'm excited and can't wait for the next part of this journey that God and I have ahead of us.”

If you knew the backstory on this post you would know that my summer had been filled with hurting and angry teenagers.  Some had inflicted harm upon themselves and their peers, while others held it all in under lock and key.  As ‘Miss Tiffany’ became friend, mentor, and counselor it was harder for me to feel like I was worthy of such responsibility.  I was worn physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  BUT it was in that state that I saw redemption win, struggles end, and the mending of my heart.  Had that not been the case, who knows where I would be today?  

Dead Ends and Dark Dungeons

Hello Friends!!  This blog comes on the heel of Homecoming Sunday at FBC of Mocksville (which was EXCELLENT) and a fairly eventful week at Campbell.  In the past week I have spent my time fielding frustration and swinging at all pitches.  While some may have been a homerun (like my Hebrew test) others have not proven themselves worthy to even get a base.  I remember my days of softball and the cheers of "good eye" or "way to watch".  Well, I must say that looking at this week no one can cheer those for me.  

I'm not sure what was different about this week but I do know one thing, I'm going to have to do a better job of predicting the calls and being ready to wait for the right pitch. This week in preparation for my children's sermon I was reading through the sermon text in Colossians 1:9-18.  Each week I strive to make the children's sermon relevant to the sermon topic; some weeks are easier than others.  

Anyways, in The Message (TM) version of this passage, the language used struck me...it struck me for 1) as a reminder of the people I have in my life and 2) it reminded me of the Call I have answered.  It is presumed that Paul and Timothy are writing to the Church in Colosse when we find this particular passage.  Verses 9-12 are a prayer for the Church.  Reading those first in the mindset of it being ourselves though brings about a new light.  Reading from TM the prayer is for:

• Wise minds and spirits attuned to God's will
• Rightful living for the Master so as to make him proud of our work
• Learning 
• Strength to make it through the long haul - not the grim strength but the glory strength
• and Lastly for thankfulness

How I wish this was my prayer more often!  Think about it...we ask for the things we think we need not that we are able to discern what we encounter or that we may feel the presence of God's Holy Spirit.  We pray for the deeds we must accomplish but not that they may be to Honor God the Father.  We pray for things like patience but do not want to endure the learning.  We pray for Christ to be with us in all that we do, but he already is; rather we should pray that we have his strength to carry us through.  I would also dare to say that I neglect to actually give thanks to God for all that he is done already for being blindsided by what I anticipate.

Verses 13-14 read as follows:

"God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He's set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating."

What an image that is! God rescued us! Yes, we all know it, we all preach it, and hopefully we all live it.  But do we celebrate it?

Let's see what the next inning will hold, maybe this will help me with that bad eye!